Saturday, July 25, 2015

Planning Events

A few months back I volunteered to plan my sorority chapter retreat. Now normally this wouldn't be a big deal but for someone like me who has anxiety, being responsible for such an event is panic inducing. I'm not sure what made me volunteer. I guess I forgot what planning such an event does to me or maybe I wanted to push myself. The funny thing is I'm a good planner. My anxiety "helps" me over analyze everything. ALL.THE.TIME

It is a slow torture. Then I start to worry and obsesses over every step of the planning process and every decision I've made. I worry nonstop. I worry about if people will show up, if people will enjoy themselves, that everything I planned won't work, the list is endless. 

I drive myself crazy. In order not to drive others crazy I usually downplay my level of obsession and worry. 

When my husband and I had our first dinner party I was in knots the whole time up until people arrived and the food was served. Of course when people didn't arrive on time it was like my one of my fears coming true. I almost had a panic attack. 

How could I forget no one arrives to a party on time? (For the record people didn't start showing up until a hour after the party was supposed to start). 

I wish I could say that I got over it as we entertained more but that would be a lie. I think I did better when our guests arrived but it was always a stressful time.  

Planning my wedding was not a good situation for me. I didn't enjoy one second of it and now I regret it.   My friend is getting married next year and watching her thoroughly revel in the planning process makes me realize how much I missed out on. 

I wish my brain was different. Maybe that is why I volunteered, maybe I was hoping for a better me. 

The retreat is tomorrow and of course I have a million things I'm worried about. I've been singing Let it Go in my head and reminding myself that "what's done is done." Tomorrow I'll use my best anti-anxiety techniques. Maybe I'll actually have a good time. Wish me luck. 

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Schools Out For The Summer

It's finally summer time and I'm exhausted. Seriously the last week in school was an exercise of patience with my students and myself. We were all ready for the break. Don't get me wrong I love teaching and I am thankful for my job but I was ready for vacation.

Before you mention how lucky I am to have summers off consider that summer vacations are EARNED. Teachers work long hours during the school year. We give up weekends and evenings. Plus many of us spend summer catching up on continuing educational credits, perfecting our craft, teaching summer school, working on lesson plans, and working a second job ( and catching up on blog posts).

I'm spending my summer break working on lesson plans, planning a retreat for my chapter of my Sorority, working out and catching up with my friends. I feel like I neglect my friendships during the school year. 

However I'm so ready for a vacation! I am thankful for my mom teaching me the value of a good vacation. Every year we would take a family vacation where we would relax but also do at least one educational activity (for example going to Pearl Harbor while visiting Hawaii). My students always think I'm so glamorous and rich because I love to travel but it really is a priority for me so I make sure I save up for it.  I'm still recovering from my year of unemployment so unfortunately a fancy vacation is not in the budget this year but I'm already saving for 2016!

When I travel I like places that are warm and have a lot of history (I'm a History teacher) My top 5 vacation places are

1. Anywhere and Everywhere in Italy- Honestly I've wanted to go here for YEARS. Originally it was supposed to be my college graduation trip but it never worked out. Now it is my number one choice for my next vacation mainly because I LOVE history and Italy has it in abundance. 

2. Anywhere in Greece - isn't it beautiful? If you haven't heard Greece is having a bunch of financial problems. It may end up being a great cheap trip or a great way to get stranded in Europe. 

3. Abu Dhabi and Dubai, United Arab Emirates- I'm not quite sure how I'm became obsessed with Abu Dhabi and Dubai but both have been on my radar for a few years. I've read up on both places and they seem to be the crown jewels of the Middle East. I can't wait to go. While the cites are not known for their history they are known for world class shopping but I'm more interested in exploring the culture.  

4. Cape Town, South Africa- Actually there are many countries in Africa I would love to visit but (again) the rich history of South Africa moves it to top of my list. 

5. San Juan, Puerto Rico- My friend and I planned a awesome trip to her hometown then we stopped being friends. I still want to go. It has everything I love, beaches, sun, and a amazing culture and history! 

Trust me, my travel list is a lot longer.  What do you think of my picks? What are some places that you want to visit?