Monday, March 2, 2015

Sex and the Headscarf

My friend posted a video of Kandi and Todd from the Real Housewives of Atlanta discussing how seriously un-sexy her nighttime hair bonnet is, I wondered how many partners hate their women's nighttime scarf?

Is the headscarf a sex blocker?

A long while ago, I dated this guy who hated my headscarf. He just thought it was the most un-sexiest thing I could wear and did not understand why I needed to wear it. It turns out he wasn't worth the sacrifice of having fabulous hair in the morning. 

I know some women who say just sleep on a satin pillowcase. 

I tried that! Besides making me sweat my hair was just as wild and tangled as if I didn't sleep with anything at all. I also tried "wrapping it" then sleeping on the pillowcase. Same result.  

Also, sleeping on a satin pillowcase when you're natural doesn't change the general un-sexiness of bedtime hair. I often twist or braid my hair at night so I end up looking like a grade school version of myself. I honestly feel like the scarf is an improvement. 

I remember trying to decide when was the right time in a relationship to bust out the scarf. Do I wait until he goes to sleep? Do I just come out the bathroom wearing it? Should I wait until after we do-the-do? Do I wear the subtle black one? Or will he think my bright purple reflects my personality? 

With my husband I tied it on in the bathroom and walked out daring him to say something about it. He didn't. (major brownie points)

Even now, years later I sometimes debate on wearing my scarf but it's more along the lines of I want to keep things interesting in the bedroom. When you're years into a relationship you have a tendency to become complacent. To keep things exciting you should remind your partner how lucky he is.  Sometimes I go to bed with my hair free and sexy for my husband and just skip the afterglow to quickly tie it down. 

But honestly I feel like it shouldn't matter if I'm wearing the scarf or not. If you are privileged enough to get goods from a lady then you should accept her scarf/bonnet. For the record my husband said he doesn't care if I wear the headscarf. 

It's hard having Black hair. It takes a lot to take care of it. I think partners need to give their woman a break and women need to show out sometimes. 

What do you all think? Is wearing a scarf a sex blocker?