Thursday, December 31, 2015

Goodbye 2015 Hello 2016

It is the last day in 2015!

What an amazing year. I finally got back into my own classroom. I feel settled- like I'm hitting my stride. We're making a life here. I made some awesome new friends.  I finally got my naked Sundays back. I got my nose pierced- something I was thinking about doing way back in 2014. So it wasn't a outstanding year but it was a good year.

I'm trying to decide what my theme is going to be in 2016. I usually try pick a theme that embodies my goals and the things I want to achieve in the upcoming year. I'm leaning towards my theme being "improve." 

One of my major goals this year is to travel more. I didn't travel as much as I wanted this year. I already have a trip to Florida planned and strongly thinking about taking another cruise. 

I want to take care of my health more. I've been working out three times a week and enjoying it.  Now that it is a strong habit I want to tackle sleeping more. I've been a night owl my whole life but seriously 3-4 hours of sleep a night is not healthy.  

I feel like I say this every year ....I want to visit my friends more. One of my very best friends keeps pointing out that I have never flown to visit her! It may not happen this year but I at least want to have a plan to visit her soon. 

 I want to try new things like wearing lipstick! This reminds me of the pretty girls rocks challenge. I'm a tom-boy from way back! I just started wearing full-face makeup last year (one of my goals from last year).  I usually only wear lipstick on special occasions. This year I want to take the next step and wear (bold) lipstick- when I'm not teaching. 

Another major goal is to have FAITH! As someone with anxiety I worry non-stop and this is in direct conflict with my religion. I struggle HARD with this one. I know this is something I will probably always struggle with but I want to be better. 

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

One Thing I'm excited for- Day 30 November Writing Challenge

Today's Prompt: One thing I'm excited for

I'm so excited for life and my future right now. I finally feel like I'm in a great space. I have a amazing husband. I have a job that I love. I have awesome family and friends that support me.  I'm in a sorority that fulfills me. Life is good right now. I thank GOD! If you have been following my blog you know that last year wasn't the best year.  

Of course this doesn't mean I don't have major goals I'm striving for. I would love to buy a house soon. I want to start a family. But if those things don't happen, I'll be extremely disappointed but overall I'll still be in a good space.  I've waited a long time to be content and now that I'm here I can't hardly believe it.  So I'm going to enjoy it while it last  because I'm sure life will be sending me lemons soon (such is the nature of life). 

Thank you for joining me on this writing challenge. Some of the prompts were silly or redundant but overall it was fun. 

Sunday, November 29, 2015

My 21st Birthday- Day 29 November Writing Challenge

Today's Prompt: The night of your 21st birthday

Honestly my 21st birthday was nothing like I planned. In fact I remember crying at some point. Apparently I can't have a big event in my life without my tears (long story to  be told soon). I spent the morning running around because it was the first day of summer school. I was supposed to attend class in one location but when I got there I found out that there wasn't enough students registered and they completely canceled my class. I had scramble to find a class (between three different locations) that was accepting students. I remember it being really stressful.

In the middle of trying to figure out the whole class thing my boyfriend called and basically bailed on the evening plans. It was something about him not having a ride and me not having time to go get him. I was very upset. I never have a boyfriend for my birthday, I had envisioned a fabulous night with him. 

I started the evening having dinner with my dad. My birthday and fathers day landed on the same day that year. I can't remember what my first legal drink was..... a margarita? It was actually a pleasant time. I should have known the rest of the night would be shit since this part went so well.  Things with my dad never go this smooth. 

Later, I met up with my usual crew. The shitty part is that I was the second oldest so I knew we couldn't go to a bar or something that typical 21-year-olds do on their birthdays. Everything went downhill from there. None of my friends were in the mood to go out but I dragged them out anyway. We ended up at a bowling alley (I love bowling), but the shitty attitudes lingered.  Seriously no one was happy- I was struggling to have fun. It seemed like everyone forgot it was my birthday. I had a long island iced tea and I kicked ass bowling but after one game everyone was ready to go home. So I dropped off my GBFF and went home...alone. 

No big party, very very mild drinking, unhappy friends, MIA boyfriend = a blah birthday. 

Word I use Constantly- Day 28 November Writing Challenge

So I may have skipped some days...

Today's Prompt: The word/phrase you use constantly

This is so embarrassing. Since I've moved back to Northern California I've found myself using a word that is exclusively NorCal and something I probably should have stopped saying in high school but somehow haven't.

 The word is...Hella (and/or Hecka) Defined by urban dictionary as: " Hella. Originated from the streets of San Francisco in the Hunters Point neighborhood. It is commonly used in place of "really" or "very when describing something." 

I don't think there is anything wrong with the word but I like to think of myself as sophisticated and the use of hella is anything but. However the use of this word instantly identifies me as a Bay Area girl and I have no probem with that. 

PS. No Doubt is a Southern California band but they got a pass to use our word in their kick ass song. 

Sunday, November 22, 2015

Zodiac: Day 21 November Writing Challenge

Today's Yesterday's Prompt:Your Zodiac/horoscope and whether you think it fits you

I've hinted at this before, I'm a Gemini. I believe it fits me pretty accurately. 

Gemini is the third sign of the astrological year and is known by the symbol the Twins. Our motto is
"I think." Gemini is an air sign. We are known for being great communicators. We are also known for being smart, inquiring and mutable. We are also known for bring bright, happy go lucky and a life of the party but because of the duality of our personality you probably will not know which Gemini will show up. We're a like the yin and the yang. Of course it can make us seem fickle and capricious. 

I'm all about communication. I love to write, talk or basically do anything that involves communication. I like to think I am pretty smart. I always want people to think I'm smart before they think I'm pretty. I have a thirst for knowledge; I'm always seeking to learn something. Does that make me a jack of all trades and a master of none? Probably. The flip side is that I am ruthless when I'm pissed off  and pretty lethal with my words. It is a good think that takes a lot to piss me off and in my maturity I've learned that I just can't always go "running off at the mouth." 

Friday, November 20, 2015

Music: Day 20 November Writing Challenge

Today's Prompt: Put your music player on shuffle and write the first 3 songs that play and what your initial thought is

This is probably my favorite prompt! I love music. 

1. Last Night by Diddy Featuring Keyshia Cole

LOL! I love this song. The old school radio station played it and I had to download it immediately. Keyshia is signing her ass off! I remember Diddy making her do take after take after take in the recording booth. 

2. Count On Me by Bruno Mars

I swear my music player is ALWAYS  playing this song however I love this song. It is a song of friendship and being a good supportive friend. I feel like this song truly represents me and my friendships. I don't have a ton of friends but I'm very close to the friends I do have. I value loyalty and it's important to me that I'm a good friend. 

3. Blurred Lines by Robin Thicke featuring T.I. & Pharrell 

This song makes me want to dance! 

Thursday, November 19, 2015

Five Fears: Day 19 November Writing Challenge

Today's Prompt: Five Fears That You Have 

I'm going to try to do this prompt without taking this post down a dark path. Asking someone who has anxiety about their fear is asking about the blackest part of their soul. 

1. Not Being Good Enough: I feel like this is a fear everyone has. One of the hard things about being a teacher is that it is performance based. Teachers are evaluated by classroom visits from the administration and student test scores. Having a off day could mean you're not getting that raise at the end of the school year or worse not getting a contract for the next year. 

2. Heights (and falling):  I'm not the person to get on your Ferris wheel or step out on your 20th floor balcony. Nope! I even told my husband that we can't buy a house with a 2nd floor balcony. I would probably never use it. 

3.  Not being financially secure: Losing my job was  my one of my greatest fears realized. It's scary not having a major source of income while knowing that you haven't saved enough to support long-term unemployment. I'm now working on rebuilding my savings and making sure our future is secure. 

4.  Enclosed Spaces: I hate feeling trapped. I'm okay in closet but f
t someone tried to join me in the closet then I'm freaked out. I just need to be able to move and breathe freely.  

5.  Thunderstorms: They are scary. Period.

Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Favorite Color: Day 18 November Writing Challenge

Today's Prompt: Your Favorite Color and Why

Okay some of these prompts are silly- I've already skipped two (My thoughts on ageism [don't have any] and bullet your whole day [nope]) This is one of the sillier prompts. 

I've had a lot of favorite colors (Black, Blood Red, Royal Blue) . The truth is I love color. I always hate that decorating your home as an adult means having a sophisticated color pallet. My eye is always drawn to the children's side of the furniture stores. So much color- it just looks like fun. I really believe in color being a mood changer, 

If I had to pick a favorite color I would say it's Purple. Through all my "favorite" colors purple has remained one of my top favorites. Purple makes me very happy. I love looking at it. I love how it looks when I wear it. I love light purple, all the way to dark almost-black purple. 

I've always wanted a purple bedroom and for one reason or another I never got to have one until now. (Thank you Husband). I believe color can boost your mood. I'm still in the process of decorating it the way I want but soon I'll have the purple bedroom of my dreams. 

When I got married I couldn't decide if we should have a red (his favorite color) or a purple wedding. I ended up picking a red wedding mostly because it fit with the holiday theme. However, I constantly questioned that decision. The plan is to renew our vows and have a purple celebration. We'll see. 

Alice Walker- The Color Purple

Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Quotes to Live By: Day 17 November Writing Challenge

Today's Prompt: A Quote You Try To Live By 

This was really hard. I'm one of those people that collect quotes (like Mary Jane from Being Mary Jane). I am truly inspired by Maya Angelou. When I read I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings, it changed me. Her words and her life story- moves, motivates and even chastises me. There are several of her quotes that resonate in my soul.  One of my favorites is...

"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude." 

This quotes sums up my personality really well. I feel like it is easy to complain about things but it's harder to try to change it. I'm the person who gets frustrated when all people do is sit around and complain. I'm all for a venting session but when that's all someone wants to do (all the time), my mind starts looking for action or a change in my attitude. 

Ain't this the TRUTH??? Be nice to each other. 

Monday, November 16, 2015

Pet Peeves: Day 15 November Writing Challenge

Today's  Yesterday's Prompt: Three Pet Peeves 

1. One of my biggest Pet Peeves is shitty customer service. When I worked in customer service I worked to give everyone my best service. I feel like many people don't care about their customers which is crazy but we're all customers at some point. I also dislike it when people abuse customer service workers!

2. Another pet peeve is flaky people. I've written about it before ( click here). It seems like lately it is getting worse. People make commitments and have no problem with not showing up and not bothering with calling.  At least tell you're not going to show up. A couple of times I've caught myself making commitments I had no intention on keeping- and quickly corrected myself. 

3. When people say "me personally."  It's either me or personally. Not both!  

Leave some of your pet peeves in the comments

Saturday, November 14, 2015

7 Years in the Future: Day 14 November Writing Challenge

I refuse to write about yet another tragedy like I did here and here, so I'm not ignoring what happened in Paris- I just don't want to focus on the negative. 

Today's Prompt: Your Life in 7 Years

This prompt is so hard for me because I honestly haven't thought about the next 7 years which is a little unusual for me because I'm a planner. I think I haven't thought about 7 years from now because I'm pretty content. I'm not forcing myself to strive for the next milestone.
The house picture I used on my vision board
In seven years I expect to still be living in California. My husband and I would have purchased a 4 bedroom house in a nice diverse neighborhood. The house would have a big backyard and hopefully have a pool. We're skipping the starter home and going straight for the dream. 

Our beautiful and super smart child would be turning 6 and already reading independently. Poor child I already have high expectations for him/her. 

I would be teaching English. Right now I teach History I want to certify to teach both subjects. In 7 years or sooner I will probably start looking at getting another Masters degree in educational counseling just in case I get tired of being in the classroom. 

In the past I've been extremely disappointed that I haven't met milestones like I owning a house  or getting married by a certain age. It was stressful and every birthday I would feel like I let myself down. I'm not putting pressure on myself to meet some obituary deadline. It's easier said than done however, I'm  determined to live life and enjoy it.  

Friday, November 13, 2015

My Commute: Day 13 November Writing Challenge

Today's Prompt: Your Commute to and from work/school/Etc

I thought this prompt was funny because my work is at a school!

7:00- First attempt to leave the house. Wait did I walk the dog?
7:05- Coax Shasta out of the house and watch her go potty
7:15- The time I usually leave the house
7:17- Drop off the dog's "present" at the trash can
7:20- I'm cracking up at my morning radio show. It's a local show and the show personalities have good bits that they do including one where they have contestants try to guess a movie title but they can't say any of the words in the title or any of the characters in the movie. (I'm going to try that during our next game night).
7:30- Take the long way to work because taking the freeway means I'll never get there
7:35- The long way means five stops signs-on the same street
7:38- Hit the freeway to go 1.5 miles. People think that we're on race track. Seriously they try to run you over if you go below 75mph
7:40- I take the back way around the school to avoid all the parents dropping off their kids.
7:41- Arrive at school
Total Drive Time: 20-22 minutes 

4:00- First attempt to leave school (I swear there is always something to do #lifeofateacher
4:15- Second attempt to leave school (unless it is a Tuesday or Thursday because that is when I have office hours)
4:17- Dodge students on the way to the parking lot
4:19- Stop and talk to a student and/or a teacher
4:22- Third attempt to leave school- realize that I have to go potty
4:30- Actually get in the car
4:31- Try not to hit students in the parking lot
4:33-  (Sort-of) Try not to hit students on the street
4:35-  Get on the freeway
4:38- Try not to fall asleep in bumper-to-bumper traffic. 
4:43- Wish I had a bigger car
4:44- Start "shopping" for cars by looking at cars I'm stuck in traffic with
4:45- Wonder why I don't have a chauffeur.
4:50- Wistfully dream of DC public transportation
4:53- Complain about the number of stop signs on the same street I traveled that morning
5:15ish- Arrive home
Total Drive Time: 40-45 minutes (yes my drive time is double in the evening) 

Thursday, November 12, 2015

Phrases That Make Me Laugh: Day 12 November Writing Challenge

Today's Prompt: Two Words/Phrases that Make You Laugh

I was struggling with this prompt for a little bit then my husband reminded me of two phrases that always make me laugh. Actually when he reminded me of them I actually laughed out loud.

The first one is from the movie The Incredibles. The movie is about a group of super heroes who are forced to go into hiding after the world turns against them. In the scene Lucius (voiced by Samuel L. Jackson)  sees a robot attacking the city through his glass window and he starts looking for his super suit. Of course he can't find it and the interplay between him and his wife cracks me up EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.  Often when I'm looking for something I always say, "Honey, where is my (whatever I'm looking for) in the Samuel L. Jackson voice. It's probably annoying but it makes me laugh. 

 If you haven't seen this movie it's one of my favorite Pixar/Disney films. I can't wait until the sequel (and I normally dislike sequels). 

The second phrase that always makes me laugh is from my favorite movie when I was a child; The Neverending Story.  This young boy  (Bastin) is being bullied so he hides out in a book store. He is steals a special book and hides in the attic of his school to read it. He becomes emotionally and eventually physically involved. In the culminating scene the Childlike Empress (absolutely my favorite character) implores Bastin to give her a new name. The earnest and over-the-top acting gets me every time. I laugh and secretly love it. I've seen this movie so many times, I know every scene, every word and every nuance. I just love this movie even though I know it is corny. 

Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Current Relationship: Day 11 November Writing Challenge

Today's Prompt: Your Current Relationship; if single, discuss that too

I've been married for almost 6 years and together for almost 8. I really can't believe it. It feels like we just started dating.  I've talked about how I met my husband before (click the link in cased you missed it). This is the best relationship I've been in. It's also the longest. It's the one that feel the "most right." This is the relationship that makes me a better person. It is not a perfect relationship but it is perfect for me. 

It drives me crazy when people say a marriage takes works because they usually mean it in a negative way. Of course a relationship takes work. All relationships  (including friendships) do. Love it a verb -a action word. You have to practice the action. You have to actively work. I don't think marriage is hard. Will there be some hard moments (of course) and there will be some easy fun moments. The goal is to have more fun moments that east ones and work through the hard ones.  

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Weird Fruit: Day 10 November Writing Challenge

Today's Prompt: A fruit you dislike and why

In general I love all things sweet including fruits. Citrus fruit are my favorite. When I want something sweet but trying to healthy I try to grab a fruit. Sometimes it works to trick the brain into thinking I'm eating something sweet. 

I seriously dislike grapefruit. There is something about the sour/sweet tastes that goes against all my taste buds. I don't like the fruit or the juice. It is just gross.

I discovered I hated grapefruit trying to go the grapefruit diet. Another stupid fad diet that doesn't actually burn fat. I purchased a bunch of grapefruits and went to eat my first one and yup disgusting. Wasted money and zero fat lost.

Sunday, November 8, 2015

Books Books and More Books: Day 8 November Writing Challenge

Today's Prompt: A Book You Love and One You Didn't

Picking just ONE book I love is impossible.  My favorite books often change so the only way I can do this challenge is make a list...

Favorite Classic Book:  The Souls of Black Folk by W.E. B. DuBois-  This book was an assigned textbook for one my classes at Howard University. It is not an "easy read" but it truly changed how I viewed my place in the Black community

Favorite Traditional Classic Book: Pride and Prejudice - I love a good love story and a strong female main character. 

Favorite African-American Book: I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou. This book made me want to be a writer. 
This is a real picture of my bookshelf.
I know I need a new one! 

Favorite Cozy Mystery (My favorite category): The Alphabet Series (A is for Alibi, B is Burglar, C is for Corpse) by Sue Grafton.  This is a series that features a strong female main character  and a whodunit line. I love murder and mystery. The "X" just came out and it was just as awesome as the rest of the series. I remember when my high school English teacher recommended (and loaned me) a book in this series. She knew me well. I'm sad that this series will be ending soon but I know I'll enjoy the last few books in the alphabet. 

Favorite Erotica Book: Probably my second favorite category of books to read. The Plus One Chronicles by Jennifer Lyon is my favorite at the moment because the main character is not a naive person. She's smart and stands up her herself (unlike most erotica books). If that is a little too hardcore for you I would recommend The Unidentified Redhead by Alice Clayton. Hot guy and a smart sassy woman! Great read. 

Favorite Book When I Want to Cry: A Fault in Our Stars by John Green: Young love plus a cancer story line. Heartbreaking and beautifully written. 

Favorite Adventure/Fantasy Book: Any of the Harry Potter books by J.K Rowling because...Harry Potter. I just recently read Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children by Random Riggs. It was weird, hunting and very interesting. 

Favorite True Story: Infidel by Ayaan Hirsi Ali. Her story about how she survived civil war, female mutilation, brutal beating and adolescence as a devout Muslim during the rise of the Muslim Brotherhood is shocking and worth the read.   

Book I hated: Allegiant by Veronica Roth- This is the third book in the Divergent series (why is everything a trilogy now?). This was a terrible end to what started off as a good series. It ruined the whole series for me. I wanted to throw the book across the room. 

Saturday, November 7, 2015

Tattoos: Day 7 November Writing Challenge

Today's Writing Challenge: What tattoos you have and if they have meaning.

I have three tattoos (so far). I plan on getting at least two more soon but I'm not one of those people who get tattoos just to get them. They all have deep meanings. I want the best artwork. I want the best tattoo artist for the style I want. I want to make sure I love it because it is permanent.

My first tattoo is a single open rose. When I was a teenager I decided that I would get a rose tattoo. I love roses and it also is the flower for my birth month (June). My grandmothers name was Rose. I was obsessed with this tattoo so very soon after I turned 18 I got it tattooed on my calf. 

Four years later I got my second tattoo; A roman numeral two with a open rose cutting diagonally through it. The II is symbol for the Gemini astrological sign.  I consider myself to have a very Gemini personality and I got the rose because I wanted my tattoos to tie in together. Yes call me foolish I believe in astrology.  No, Gemini's are "two-faced' having multiple personalities is not two-faced.

My third tattoo is a Sankofa. "The concept of 'Sankofa" is derived from King Adinkera of the Akan people of West African. 'Sankofa' is expressed in the Akan language as 'se wo were fi na wosan kofa a yenki.' Literally translated, this means 'it is not taboo to go back and fetch what you forgot.' Visually and symbolically, 'Sankofa' is expressed as a mythic bird that flies forward while looking backward with an egg (symbolizing the future) in its mouth." ( The Sankofa could also be stylized as a heart shape and that is the version I have. (as you just found out I hate birds). Of course I just had to add a rose in the middle of the heart. 

I believe in learning from our past. I believe in reaching back and using the past to move me and another generation forward (Another reason I am a teacher). 

Works Cited:,. 'Sankofa – Department Of African American Studies - University Of Illinois Springfield - UIS'. N.p., 2015. Web. 7 Nov. 2015.

Friday, November 6, 2015

Who Fascinates Me? : Day 6 November Writing Challenge

Today's Challenge: Someone Who Fascinates You and Why.

Someone who fascinates me is Shonda Rhimes. If you are not familiar with her she is the Queen of Thursday night television on ABC. She is a executive producer and/or head writer of several shows including Grey's Anatomy, Scandal, How to Get Away with Murder, (formally) Off the Map, and (formally) Private Practice. She also happens to be African-American. Her talent, her creativity and the ability to have this level of success in a industry that doesn't support Black people is unparalleled. Her success is shocking. I can't think of any Caucasian counterpart who has has the same success as her. 

She fascinates me not just because of her success but because she is doing the very job I wanted to do. Her path could have been my path if I just had been brave and confident enough (I know this is a theme in my life but that is another story for another blog). I truly admire her. I love that she is a writer at heart and that she loves to tell a story. I love that she writes for everyone. Her shows are inclusive of all nationalities. I like that she makes her Black characters real people and she does not succumb to the pressure to make them flawless and perfect. I admire her fearlessness. I follow her on twitter and she stands in her truth daily. 

Thursday, November 5, 2015

A Place I would Live: Day 5 November Writing Challenge

Today's Writing Challenge: A place you would live, but have never visited 

If you haven't noticed I'm a little obsessed with Italy. I'm obsessed with all things Italian; the food, the history, the many different cultures. I've never been there and yet I know so much about it. I've studied it so much. Of course my goal is to visit very soon. 

I think my obsession started with watching the movie Under The Tuscan Sun. If you haven't seen it; it's a movie about a women reeling from a divorce who friends force her to take a trip to Italy. She impulsively decides to buy old house and renovate it. During the renovation she meets wonderful people and discovers herself. 

It's been a dream of mine to move to Italy, buy a house and live la dolce vita. I know some day I will make it come true.

Wednesday, November 4, 2015

10 Interesting Things: Day 4 November Writing Challenge

Today's Writing Challenge: 10 Interesting Things about Yourself

1. I'm allergic to a ton of things: cats, grass, pollen, mold, bees, honey, perfume and (just recently discovered) Chai. A couple of months ago I ordered a chai tea at Starbucks and soon my tongue was itching. It was probably the third time I've had chai tea and the third time that has happened so no more chai for me. 

2. I dislike birds: They are gross and disgusting. 

3. I love to read: In 2014 I read 101 books. My goal this year was to read 50 books (I'm working more this year). I am currently reading book 48 and 49. I also joined a book club. It is so cool meeting new people and reading books I wouldn't normally read. 

4. I'm a really goofy person: Most people don't get to see this side of me but I'm pretty silly. 

5.  I love to play video games: All the time! I was kinda a tomboy growing up. I skateboarded, played (tackle) football and played video games with the boys. So while I may be more ladylike now, I still play video games like the boys.  

6. I'm very competitive: I love playing board games, my family will tell you that I'm strict rule follower and I like to win. 

7. I don't like soup: or any type of water-type food like gravy or stew. However I do love gumbo. 

8. I collect Black Barbie Dolls; I don't have a problem with her not representing the "typical girl." She's a doll. She's supposed to be perfect. I don't wish to be her or anything. I just think she's pretty. Every year I get the collectors edition of the holiday Barbie. I think my oldest one is from 1995. 

9. I almost converted to Judaism: I started studying the religion and I found that it fit in with my beliefs but since I was so conflicted and unsure of myself I never went through with it. 

10. I've recently changed my lifestyle: I'm a little hesitant to write about it because it is still new.  This August I joined a gym and I've been killing it. I usually go 3-4 times a week and sprinkle in at-home workouts. I don't know how much weight I've lost because I'm more focused on being healthy. However the pounds are coming off.  I feel good. I'm gaining muscle. For the past six weeks my husband has joined me in the gym. We're taking this healthy lifestyle journey together. We're eating healthier. We got fitbits. We want to have a baby so we need to be the healthiest people we could be. Plus I'm tired of watching my friends lose weight and wishing it could be me. I know I'll never be a super skinny person but I can be #fatfit 

So there you have it 10 (hopefully) interesting things about me. I hope you all are enjoying this writing challenge. It's actually pretty fun. 

First Love: Day 3 November Writing Challenge

Today's Writing Challenge is; Your first love and first kiss (if separate, discuss both)

In 8th grade I just moved to a new city. Luckily met a pretty cool and diverse group of friends. I had unrequited crush on one of my guy friends to which my eventual boyfriend (Patrick) told me to get over it- he'll never like you (Patrick was correct, the crush came out of the closet after we graduated high school).  Patrick basically said what about me- someone who already likes you. I soon turned my attention to him and we started "going out." 

We talked on the phone everyday. We hung out at lunch. We were best friends (thus starting the trend of me dating my male friends). It was pretty sweet and innocent. He was the first white guy I dated. 

Our first kiss happened in the park. We had been dating several months but had not kissed yet. The whole gang was hanging out and our best friend (at the time- Rachel) asked us if we kissed yet. We were embarrassed to admit we hadn't. Our friends basically coerced us into kissing in front of them. Under the wooden playground we finally kissed in front of 5 our friends. It awkward and really innocent. It did open the flood gates. After that we couldn't stop kissing. At some point we broke off from the group to make out in the park.

We dated for 9 months. He broke up with me in ninth grade during lunch because Rachel told him to. Rachel and I were not speaking to each other because of some stupid fight. She said I couldn't be part of the group anymore so he did what he had to do to stay in the group. I was devastated. He was my first love and first heartbreak.

PS. I don't remember my actual first kiss. It was before Patrick and I started going out but I really don't remember it...

Tuesday, November 3, 2015

My Earliest Memory: Day 2 November Writing Challenge

My Earliest Memory

My earliest memory is not a happy one. That is probably why I remember it so well. This memory happened before I was three. I was sitting on a couch in a house I can describe perfectly even though I haven't seen pictures of it. My parents are standing in front of me arguing. I have this image of my mom slightly bent at the waist; yelling. The memory gets a little fuzzy after that- thank goodness.  Maybe I started crying? Maybe they took me out of the room? Whatever happened the memory is not that long but I can still feel the feeling of being upset. Is that weird?

I've never told my parents that I remember them fighting because I never wanted them to feel guilty for arguing in front of me. This memory also reminds me that is probably a good idea that my parents divorced soon after, they were happier separate.  

I do have another (happier) memory at that house. I was in my crib looking across my room. I was trying to figure out how to get out of my jail and get to my really cool giraffe toy chest. The toy chest was also a chair. It was about 2-3 feet tall. It was so cool that if I find it again I'll immediately buy it for my future child's bedroom. I'll be decorating his/her room in giraffes anyway. 

Five Problems with Social Media: Day 1 November Writing Challenge

Five Problems with Social Media

1. Satire Websites: There are a bunch of satire websites that people continually post as fact. WHY COME no one checks before they repost something??? I've seen the story about the woman masturbating with a sausage several times- it's not true! 

2. Bullies: People feel real comfortable behind a keyboard and have tendency to say things they wouldn't normally say in person. Cut the bull. 

3. The Need to Post Everything: I recently went on vacation and only posted one picture on social media. I love the idea of seeing vacation pictures but sometimes we get so caught up in looking like we're having a great vacation that we forget to actually enjoy the vacation. 

Which leads to....

4. (Seemingly) Perfect lives: Everyone's lives look perfect online. It is easy to get caught in the hype and start comparing your lives to theirs but in reality it took 20 outtakes, three filters, lots of screaming to get that one photo. 

5. The over-sharer: We all know that one person that put EVERYTHING and I mean EVERYTHING online....we don't need to read it or see it. 

Sunday, September 27, 2015

Is Love Broken?

Too many of my friends have gone through major breakups in the past couple of weeks. I mean "we're were talking about marriage and now we're not together" type of breakups. 

I'm trying to understand what is going on and why my awesome, educated, beautiful friends can't have long-lasting relationships?

Why is dating so freaking hard? When did it become complicated?

I'm sad for my friends. I want them to have love, real love, real relationships. 

I feel because I can't really help. I met my husband because he was my neighbor. He was very, very persistent. I was lucky and I completely recognize that. 

I do believe that every failed relationship is a learning lesson and something to prepare for the correct one. 

The guy I "dated" (and I'm using the word dated loosely here) before my husband was perfect on paper. I mean he hit every box on my checklist....

☑ Smart/College Educated
☑ Has a career not just a job
☑ Owns a car
☑ Amazing body
☑ Fairly good looking
☑ Love dogs
☑ Homeowner
☑ Ambitious 
☑ Funny/Could hold a conversation 

We worked at the same company in different departments and he immediately caught my attention. We flirted and exchanged numbers. We went on a lunch date (read: he was cheap. I didn't know better). He came to my house and didn't try to sleep with me. I was so impressed. We talked on the phone and texted often. He came over again and we had some pretty mediocre sex. He texted me when he got home and then he never called me again. I mean NEVER. I tried contacting him one more time and then I figured out that I had been played. 

I was lucky he was discreet. No one at work knew. I wish I had been patient and not blinded by the potential "perfect man" that I rushed everything. Had I taken the time I would have figured out that this guy never brought the same girl to any work function , that he is really kinda boring and just because it looks good on paper doesn't mean it is meant for me. 

I know there is hope. I know that it is easy for me to say that on the other side of "struggle." I know that when I had given up is right when I met my husband so keep your options and your heart open. 

Saturday, July 25, 2015

Planning Events

A few months back I volunteered to plan my sorority chapter retreat. Now normally this wouldn't be a big deal but for someone like me who has anxiety, being responsible for such an event is panic inducing. I'm not sure what made me volunteer. I guess I forgot what planning such an event does to me or maybe I wanted to push myself. The funny thing is I'm a good planner. My anxiety "helps" me over analyze everything. ALL.THE.TIME

It is a slow torture. Then I start to worry and obsesses over every step of the planning process and every decision I've made. I worry nonstop. I worry about if people will show up, if people will enjoy themselves, that everything I planned won't work, the list is endless. 

I drive myself crazy. In order not to drive others crazy I usually downplay my level of obsession and worry. 

When my husband and I had our first dinner party I was in knots the whole time up until people arrived and the food was served. Of course when people didn't arrive on time it was like my one of my fears coming true. I almost had a panic attack. 

How could I forget no one arrives to a party on time? (For the record people didn't start showing up until a hour after the party was supposed to start). 

I wish I could say that I got over it as we entertained more but that would be a lie. I think I did better when our guests arrived but it was always a stressful time.  

Planning my wedding was not a good situation for me. I didn't enjoy one second of it and now I regret it.   My friend is getting married next year and watching her thoroughly revel in the planning process makes me realize how much I missed out on. 

I wish my brain was different. Maybe that is why I volunteered, maybe I was hoping for a better me. 

The retreat is tomorrow and of course I have a million things I'm worried about. I've been singing Let it Go in my head and reminding myself that "what's done is done." Tomorrow I'll use my best anti-anxiety techniques. Maybe I'll actually have a good time. Wish me luck. 

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Schools Out For The Summer

It's finally summer time and I'm exhausted. Seriously the last week in school was an exercise of patience with my students and myself. We were all ready for the break. Don't get me wrong I love teaching and I am thankful for my job but I was ready for vacation.

Before you mention how lucky I am to have summers off consider that summer vacations are EARNED. Teachers work long hours during the school year. We give up weekends and evenings. Plus many of us spend summer catching up on continuing educational credits, perfecting our craft, teaching summer school, working on lesson plans, and working a second job ( and catching up on blog posts).

I'm spending my summer break working on lesson plans, planning a retreat for my chapter of my Sorority, working out and catching up with my friends. I feel like I neglect my friendships during the school year. 

However I'm so ready for a vacation! I am thankful for my mom teaching me the value of a good vacation. Every year we would take a family vacation where we would relax but also do at least one educational activity (for example going to Pearl Harbor while visiting Hawaii). My students always think I'm so glamorous and rich because I love to travel but it really is a priority for me so I make sure I save up for it.  I'm still recovering from my year of unemployment so unfortunately a fancy vacation is not in the budget this year but I'm already saving for 2016!

When I travel I like places that are warm and have a lot of history (I'm a History teacher) My top 5 vacation places are

1. Anywhere and Everywhere in Italy- Honestly I've wanted to go here for YEARS. Originally it was supposed to be my college graduation trip but it never worked out. Now it is my number one choice for my next vacation mainly because I LOVE history and Italy has it in abundance. 

2. Anywhere in Greece - isn't it beautiful? If you haven't heard Greece is having a bunch of financial problems. It may end up being a great cheap trip or a great way to get stranded in Europe. 

3. Abu Dhabi and Dubai, United Arab Emirates- I'm not quite sure how I'm became obsessed with Abu Dhabi and Dubai but both have been on my radar for a few years. I've read up on both places and they seem to be the crown jewels of the Middle East. I can't wait to go. While the cites are not known for their history they are known for world class shopping but I'm more interested in exploring the culture.  

4. Cape Town, South Africa- Actually there are many countries in Africa I would love to visit but (again) the rich history of South Africa moves it to top of my list. 

5. San Juan, Puerto Rico- My friend and I planned a awesome trip to her hometown then we stopped being friends. I still want to go. It has everything I love, beaches, sun, and a amazing culture and history! 

Trust me, my travel list is a lot longer.  What do you think of my picks? What are some places that you want to visit? 

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Black Lives Matter (Again)

I'm so sick of talking about another shooting. I'm sick of crying over more innocent African-Americans being killed. I don't know what to say anymore. 

On my Facebook page I wrote #blacklivesmatter isn't just a saying or a hashtag it is a movement. Get mad. Get fed up and get engaged. 

One of my white friends responded by writing #alllivesmatter. No shit! My response was "of course they do but I'm just focused on Black Lives right now." The sad part I'm sure many people feel that this movement will make things more divisive but the problem is there has been a systematic killing and prosecution of African-Americans and we need to do something about it.  It is no longer acceptable for us to sit back and wait for things to happen. I challenge you to find a way to get involved. This will be a second Civil Rights Movement.