Saturday, November 10, 2012

What a difference a month makes...

A bunch has happened since my last post and once I explain you can understand why my posts have dropped off.

Through a Soror, I was able to interview for a teaching position. They hired me the same day I interviewed and expected me to start five days later on the first day of school. Needless to say I have been working hard. I am teaching high school history. It has been challenging, fun, frustrating, time consuming, and even exciting.

I have been busy! I did not expect school to take up so much time. It is my first year teaching so it has been a huge learning curve. I think I am starting to get the hang of things and I am starting to see my free time return.

Thus expect to see more posts.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

I'm coming back

I owe y'all a bunch of posts. I'm coming back real soon. Details to follow!

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Emergency Contacts

Honest moment- I had been struggling to write a blog post about emergency contacts for some reason or another. My typical reasoning is, if I have to fight with it to get it written I don't publish it.

Lately I have received pretty bad news about friends and good acquaintances. Serious medical issues. It has been shocking and worrisome. This sounds cliché but it truly makes you think about your own life and how fragile life is.

During one of these medical crisis's I realized I didn't have my best friend's boyfriend's contact information. They live together! Of course I never thought about what if there was a emergency. However as we get older we have to start thinking about these things. The boyfriend's information is now in my phone and we are Facebook friends.

Please take care of your health (physical and mental). I think I have been too cavalier about my health. I've been taking it for granted. That stops now! 

[The good news is all the people who had health issues are doing better! ]

Friday, July 20, 2012

Top 10 Annoying Habits of Customers

I work at a museum where we strive to give the best customer service possible but sometimes customers make it so hard. I have comprised a list of the Top 10 Annoying Habits of Customers. There are plenty of lists that blast the people who work in customer service (and trust me many of them are fair assessments) however I want to give you a peek of the type of people that **WE** have to deal with:

People who:
  1.  Make Jokes-  Everyone thinks they are funny. Trust me we have heard all your jokes before. Seriously... ALL. BEFORE.
  2.  Expect Us to Read Minds- These people come to the counter and stand there and stare. Or worse they have no idea what they want and want us to guess. We don't want to guess.
  3. Don't Read- We have signs up for a reason.  If more people took the time to READ the signs it would answer 90% of their questions.
  4. Don't Listen- This is a huge pet peeve of mine. I hate thoroughly answering a question and  having the person ask me a question that I already answered. It makes me want to slap them. 
  5. Share Their Body- I'm talking about stinky people, over perfumed people and sweaty people. Not to mention that people feel the need to lick their fingers and HAND items over to me. Also, if your money is sweaty- pay by credit card.
  6. Lie (and lie badly)- We know you are not a senior. We know your child is not 12. Seriously, it makes you look silly and cheap.
  7. Don't follow the rules-  These are the people who completely disregard the rules and know better. Why do people think it is OK to go behind a barrier--one that clearly says DO NOT ENTER?
  8. Argue (who knows best)-  I don't know how many times after giving someone direction, they respond by saying "My friend said..." I have been dying to say "Does your friend work here?
  9. Don't Wait Their Turn- I seriously dislike this on both sides of the counter. When I am helping someone I hate when people crowd around the person and try hurry them up. When I am the customer I always tell people to "back up off me." 
  10. Talk on Cell Phones-  Can you finish your conversation so I can help you?    

This is not a comprehensive list. Please leave a comment of your pet peeves:

Wednesday, July 4, 2012


As I began packing for my upcoming trip to Chicago I found a well hidden bag of my journals. I've always kept a journal after I received one as a gift in fourth grade.

I had JJ pick one of the journals and I started reading passages from it.

The entire journal took place from January through December 2000. I am so proud of how far I've come in 12 short years. I'm glad I've kept record of my ups and downs. It is hilarious reading about a love triangle I was involved in. Of course I didn't know the outcome then. My thoughts and feelings about the situation has changed but i'm thankful to have my own words to remember what it felt like to me then. (Maybe I'll write blog about it).

A couple of points during the year, I write about cutting ties with a good friend of mine. I can clearly remember him getting on my nerves but I'm not exactly sure why. I think it had a lot to do with growing pains. He was in high school while I had moved on to college. One of the hardest lessons I learned post high school was not all of your friendships are going to make it and some of them shouldn't. However with this friend we someone survived and he is one of my very best friends and I honestly don't know what I'd do without him.

One is the worst things about going back in time is to read about something you STILL struggle with like my weight. How is it I'm still dealing with the same issues and fears. Will I ever get over that?

Most importantly I feel inspired to continue chronicling and writing my life story. Not only does it put things in perspective it will make a great novel. (After I'm famous).

Happy Independence Day!

Independence Day is one of my favorite holidays besides New Years! I love that everyone feels patriotic. I love the warm weather and I really love the fireworks.

I find fireworks romantic.Maybe it is the call of summer or maybe it is the feeling of that reminds us of the innocence and fun of summer. There is something about sitting watching the fireworks dance in the sky. I remember spending one Fourth in the back of my pickup truck with a good friend who I wanted to be more than a friend. The fireworks were lighting up the sky and I was silently begging him to kiss me. I could not have planned it better. I snuggled up to him and somehow there was no kiss. It was a perfectly wasted moment. He told me later that he had thought about it but decided against it.

The first Fourth I spent with my now husband, then boyfriend, was at the beach with his family. JJ and I wandered off and found a prime location where we could sit and watch the fireworks. When the fireworks started he did not hesitate to kiss me and pose for one of my favorite pictures of us. Five days later he proposed!! I wish he would have done it under the colorful sky the night of the Fourth but who am I to complain?

I think a Independence Day firework kiss might just edge out a New Year's kiss! I hope everyone gets a kiss tonight.

Thursday, June 14, 2012

It's my Birthday!

My thirtieth year is coming to a close tonight. I am completely relieved that this year has not been a complete disaster like all my other "big" years (13,16,18,21,25 all horrible). I don't know what made the difference this year but I am very thankful. 

The funny thing for me is that I have planned everything except for my life passed 30. For some reason I never thought that far into the future. Not that 30 is incredibly old it is just that I believed the palm readers when they said I had a short live line. (Just kidding, sort of ). I feel like this is all new territory- new undreamed, undefined period in my life. 

Since my expectations are at zero I've been enjoying less pressure. However, I can never go without goals; halfway point of the year. It's time to reassess my New Years goals. Out of eight goals I have managed to complete four. The four easiest ones! How are you guys doing on your goals? Most people  have given up or forgotten their goals by now. So I am pledging my resolve to work on my four remaining goals. The major goal -losing weight- needs my full attention. After my birthday weekend (full of birthday cake and alcohol). I promise to get back on the wagon... er treadmill. 

Good Luck. 

Sunday, June 3, 2012

So This Book I'm Writing...

I just finished reading Fifty Shades of Grey. I don't typically ready "buzzed" about book (Twilight: for example). However, I made a exception for Fifty because I enjoy reading erotica (good erotica- not Zane). What I find more interesting than the story itself (and the story is interesting- half romance and half erotica) is the author behind the story. If you haven't heard by now E.L. James, the author of Fifty, started posting her writings on a Twilight Fan Fiction site. She then signed with a small publishing company and the book unexpectedly went viral. She writes under a pseudonym and use to live a fairly normal life with her two sons. I am so impressed and filled with hope for my own book. 

I'm working on a novel,  actually I'm working on two novels, one is for juveniles and the other is erotica. Maybe it's the Gemini in me loving to deal with two extremes. I would like to publish the juvenile book under my name but the erotica under a pseudonym (hopefully to be kept under wraps). I haven't told people about the erotica book because it makes people think about you differently. I definitely have not told my family. I wonder how they would feel or what they would think. Can you imagine how that conversation would play out?? AWKWARD!!!  

MOM: When are you going to let me read this book you've been working on
ME: Well I'm not sure if it's your type of book
MOM: Of course I would want read your book. You're a talented writer
ME:'s sort-of a adult romance type book 
MOM: So you wrote a SEX BOOK???

And it will only gets worse from there. I can imagine with E.L. James trying to explain to her teenage sons about her book. Hopefully they are not getting teased at school. However when you write this type of book (or any type of book) you open yourself up to some criticism. I better be up to the challenge. I'll eventually have to tell my mom if when my plan to be a successful author comes to fruition but until then I'll keep writing in secret!

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Hair and the Workplace

During the summer I usually wear my hair in braids. Braids give my hair a break from relaxers and is a great way to deal with the DC humidity. I just took down my traditional style of braids. I have been debating on getting cornrows to tide me over until my birthday when I'll get the standard [read: more acceptable] style.

The problem with cornrows is that some people see them as "street" "hood" or "ghetto." Basically most professionals don't see them fitting into the workplace dress code. I worry what my Caucasian conservative coworkers will think or say. They are the type that would compliment you to your face but will talk to your boss behind your back. Then your boss will pull you in their office for a "talk." Believe me. It's happened before.

It is disappointing that we still have uncertainty about wearing ethnic hairstyles in the workplace. My sister recently had to cut her beautiful dreadlocks [locs] for a job. Now this was in California (everyone has locs in DC-I'm guessing this would not happen in DC) however in 2012 locs are STILL unacceptable/unprofessional? My sister kept her locs neatly maintained. This job she accepted believes that anyone who is a manager or works in customer service must be clean shaven and have "neat" hair. My first reaction was to tell my sister to pass on the job offer but who can really afford to do that in this economy? What would you do? Are we moving towards a more conservative society as far as the dress code in the workplace?

I call it the Mad Men affect. Suits, pantyhose, pumps, skirts are making a comeback. Soon Afros, braids, locs, natural "ethnic" looking hair will be on the outs. It will not be a direct assault. It will be more like peer pressuring you into conformity.

In the end I decided to style my hair cornrowed halfway back (meaning they stop at my ears instead of going to the back of my head by my neck). It was a compromise. (I won't conform just yet). I can curl the loose hair in the back and make it professional. I can't afford to lose a good job in this economy!!

Thursday, May 3, 2012


Anxiety is a bitch. I think people see it as some current "new aged" problem. Something doctors made up to prescribed pills. In the past few years I have a begun to admit that I have anxiety. It's hard for me because I always thought that it was just me "being me" or that everyone worried like I did. Who knew everyone doesn't have panic attacks??

Recently, I retook the Praxis test (the test to become a teacher). I have extreme test anxiety. I always tell people I don't really need to study or I'm not very good at studying. However that isn't exactly true. Basically if I start studying early that starts my obsessing. I worry, panic, stress, every single time I think about the test. I mean EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I just KNOW I will fail. I imagine and believe the worse. Thankfully my anxiety doesn't stop me from performing although I fear the day it will.

Before the test I start to slide right into a panic attack. It's not unusual or completely unexpected. Years of counseling has taught me a myriad of coping techniques. I refuse to go on meds. Either I'm in denial or I don't really need them yet. I started doing visualization and deep breathing. I know it sounds stupid but once you control the biological reactions you can try start to control the mind. It works enough to prevent full blown panic attack.

The test went okay. If I did perform well, I would still feel like I performed horribly. I pray that I passed so at least I don't have to do it again. It took me at least 4 days AFTER the test to  stop feeling the pressure from it. I'll know the results in 4 weeks. Until then I'll be practicing my breathing techniques!

 PS- I guess I should include a PSA about anxiety being different for everyone. There are many different types of anxiety. It is important to see your health care professional.

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

We almost bought a timeshare

Jay and I "won" a vacation to Massanutten. It was one of those congratulations you won now please come listen to our timeshare presentation. We needed a vacation and I was sincerely interested in the timeshare because my family had one growing up and that is how we were able to afford fabulous vacations. The place was huge and pretty rustic. They kept describing the place as luxury resort- um no- not by my standards. Call me bougie. We had dinner at their signature restaurant. The food was decent if not boring; the service was excellent. We stayed in the resorts hotel. It was definitely not close to anything we saw online. It was rundown, old, stinky,cheap, out-of-the-way, and very disappointing.

The next day we went to the timeshare presentation. This was my first one but I've heard stories. I assumed we would be listening to some salesman in a room with other couples - I might have preferred that. Instead we were introduced to our salesman (Mike? Joe? David)who was assigned just to us. He was nice but I hate salesmen and I already decided he was going to have to work really hard to gain my attention and trust. Plus I read every review of this resort and timeshare offering. I knew they were going to be pushy. Basically our guide took us around the resort in his personal car. It was long  and annoying. We couldn't just get out of his car mid-presentation and say we're not interested. Could we? Did I mention that at the end of the presentation we were promised a $200 gift card along with a voucher for another free trip? Also, I should mention he freaked out when I pulled my cell phone out to look up information. "Because this is a presentation we ask that you don't use your cell phones."  WTF?

 I felt like we were fish, he was baiting us, to reel in later. When we finally got back to the office (read: huge room full of tables where salesmen make their final pitches. Where the music is turned up loud enough so you can't hear people at the table next to you). We finally talked numbers. To be honest I was interested. I think they could sense it. It was like blood in the water. I was worn down, hungry and tired- we started at 12:30pm it was a little after 4pm when we returned to the office.  

The offers were awesome (and kept getting better after the first and second NO) but I kept thinking it's silly to buy a timeshare when we don't own a home yet. It's silly to buy a timeshare in a place we'll probably never return to. The biggest appeal to me was the ability to transfer your weeks to other places. So we said no. We kept saying no. After a hour (if you're keeping track- about 5pm). They finally released us. We finally got to pick up our gift card! We wasted almost a full day! I was pissed. The famous Waterpark that this resort was known for was closing at 8 and was going to be closed the following day. We didn't make it to the waterpark.

The next day- our last full day- I wanted to make the most of our trip. We decided to go fishing. Something I've never done! So we fished. It was fun. I'm not a girly-girl but I just couldn't put that worm on the hook. I made Jay do it! He ended up catching three fish to my two. We also went miniature golfing. This was probably the most boring mini golf course I had ever been on. I- normally a stickler for the rules- just goofed off and didn't bother keeping score. 

Overall we had a relaxing time. I enjoyed spending time with my husband away from the day-to-day. I'm not a outdoorsy time of girl or a cold weather type of girl otherwise I might consider going back. Of course I'd rent one other those really nice rooms.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

When Confrontation goes Awry.

As I grow in my 30s I feel the need to project a image of someone who is more polished and refined than I really feel (working on the premise that if I fake it long enough I'll probably actually feel grown).  Lately, I've struggled with a challenge on confrontation. It is my nature to be upfront and confrontational [side note: not all confrontation is a bad thing]. I've been avoiding confrontation with a coworker. I'm not sure how to proceed with her. 

THE BACK STORY: This coworker and I had a silly misunderstanding, mostly because sometimes things are lost in translation (she's from another country and sometimes just doesn't understand). She ended the interaction with a rude statement towards me. I was frankly kinda shocked. It was really out of character for her. I waited for awhile then I went to her to clear the air. I explained that it was a simple misunderstanding and that I don't know why it got so out of hand. I also said that if I was to talk to her in the way she talked to me, I would have been pulled into our bosses office and "talked" too.  Her response was basically to accuse me of doing something that had NOTHING to do with the misunderstanding. 

The issue is; she's not talking to me. In theory I like her not talking to me because now I don't have to pretend to care about her life. Sorry the truth is this girl is my complete opposite in EVERY way. We have nothing in common. However, I do supervise her. I need to talk to her to do my job but somehow we've made it two weeks without directly talking to each other. Now I could confront her again and tell her this whole thing is silly but I really just want to torture her. I want to find ways to make her talk to me and watch her try to avoid it. Is that sadistic? I'll probably be a grown-up one of these days and squash it but until then ignoring her seems to be the path. 

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Interesting Questions

My friend and fellow blogger( Tasha's 365 Musical Journey ) decided  to tag me in a question/answer chain letter type thing. I thought I would give it a try although I probably will not pass it on.

Here are the rules:

Post the rules.

Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post

Create eleven new questions to ask the people you’ve tagged.

Tag eleven people and link to them on your post.

Let them know you’ve tagged them!

Now it’s my turn to ask questions.

Now time for the questions.

1) If you could be an adult during any other decade in history, which would you choose? My first thought to answer this question is if I was an adult during any other decade would I be Black? If yes that sort-of changes the answer. I love the 50s but I would not necessarily want to be Black during the 50s. My second choice would be the 70s. I would have been a awesome hippy.

2) If you could get rid of any one celebrity, who would you choose?

3) Who was your childhood celebrity crush? Will Smith-- I call him my ex husband

4) What outfit are you wearing in a picture from your past that makes you shake your head? I had this fake cross colors matching shorts and jean jacket. I love it- it was not cute at all!

5) What is your favorite love song? Love is You by Chrisette Michele. It is my wedding song.

6) What is your guilty pleasure show? Secret Life of the American Teenager

7) Who is your favorite author? Maya Angelou

8) Which cartoon character most closely resembles your personality? Tweety Bird  (I still contend that Tweety is a girl)

9) What is your least favorite chore? Doing the Dishes

10) Which post is your favorite on Tasha's 365 Musical Journey? Red High Heels because it's basically a girl power one. Also, None of Your Business because I am tired of people caring about what is going on in my uterus.

11) Which zodiac sign do you feel you are most compatible with? Leo!


I have had a bad run the pass couple of months.... 5 traffic tickets for various reasons. I started driving when I was 14. I got my permit at 15.5 and my license at 16.  Over the years I've had a few (literally a few)  tickets but nothing like this. Is it the Washington DC area? Everyone I know here has tickets- multiple tickets (speeding, parking, etc). While my friends in California rarely talk about their tickets. All the tickets are my fault and I will spend the next week and paycheck trying to clear my good name. From this day forward I promise to drive better and pay my tickets on TIME!! 

Dreamz Really Do Come True

Have you ever had a goal that you wanted to reach so bad that when you finally do it feels so surreal and unbelievable? I became a member of Zeta Phi Beta Sorority Inc. It was a long time coming and a dream realized. When I told people that I joined a sorority (at my age) many of my friends immediately understood  and some of my friends and coworkers were completely confused. I had to explain that Black Greek Organizations have alumni chapter's and they do amazing work in the community. I want to help and be involved and make a difference. 

I believe there is no age limit on following your dreams. Two years ago my mom graduated from law school at the age of 50. I am unbelievably proud of her. My mom packed up her life, sold her house and moved to the East Coast to attend Law School. I think it is hard to leave a successful career with one child in college, move to a state you've never been to before, compete with classmates who are the same age as your eldest child. It was a incredibly hard and challenging but when she walked across that stage and was hooded by her mentor, it was all worthwhile.

It may be silly to say but.... I want to remind everyone that is it NEVER too late to follow you dream no matter how small or big. It is never to late to have lofty dreams. It is my dream to go to Italy and buy a villa (a la Under the Tuscan Sun). It may be silly but it's my dream and I'm going to try my hardest to make it happen.