Next week is Thanksgiving and I fully intend to embrace it. Typically I have a take-it or leave-it attitude towards Thanksgiving. I love to cook and I love to eat- so why isn't it my favorite holiday? Could it be the forced family fun? Or the awkwardness of breaking bread with people you don't know? Or is the the slaving away in the kitchen for ungrateful people who pretend understand that you made the pie crust from scratch or that the cranberry sauce did NOT come from a can?
I think one of the major reasons Thanksgiving is not my favorite is because I have a huge fear of cooking for others. I cook for myself all the time. I enjoy the process and the product. It all starts when I prepare food for others. I grew up with people who cook very well, then I married a amateur chef. I get nervous cooking for such a elite audience. When I cook for my husband I become this annoyingly insecure person -asking him if it tastes good and is he sure that it is "alright." In four years I've never made anything he didn't like.
We recently had get-together at our new apartment. I decided I would make meatballs and my husband's favorite peanut butter and chocolate chips cookies. (He prepared the main dish and side dishes). I was really nervous making the meatballs. I wanted them to be perfect. I fretted (seriously) and checked every.single.detail. The meatballs turned out awesome. Everyone loved them and finished them off. In fact I should have made more. The peanut-butter cookies were crunchier than I preferred but people liked them. (I think they were lying).
Now we head into the potluck season. I elected to make a cake for the day-after-Thanksgiving potluck at my job. (I'm much more comfortable with making sweets than main dishes). I will bravely bake a cake from scratch and pray that it works out. I don't want to be the person everyone talks about. Two years removed, people at my job still tell stories about a telltale hair in someone's side dish.